David Klein

The Hobbit

19 December 2014

I watched The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies. Spoilers and thoughts below.

  1. Peter Jackson: Stop the High Frame Rate nonsense. I thought you learned this lesson from the first Hobbit movie. It is frustrating to watch.
  2. Gandalf: How could you make the same mistake twice? If the eagles are so badass at fighting, why don't you use them in Fellowship of the Ring? Yes, I'm aware of the "fly you fools" theory.
  3. The fighting is... slow. It feels like watching a computer game in 1999. Oh except for Legolas. He's still so fun to watch.
  4. Even after three movies I don't really feel a connection to the Dwarves. I know there's a fat one, an old one, a human-looking one that loves a Lost character,one that looks like Stabler from Law and Order: SVU, and the King who I'm pretty sure is related to Ed Norton Jr.
  5. It is very exciting to see an army of Dwarves. Remember that in the Lord of the Rings trilogy we only see a few of them. In The Battle of the Five Armies we get to see hundreds donning iron from head to toe.
  6. This movie features a level of military precision that Men do not display in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Elves gracefully rearrange themselves while their leader rides between their ranks. Dwarves quickly construct a phalanx with their shields similar to Leonidas' first encounter with the Persian army in 300.
  7. The stakes in this book/trilogy are dull. If Thorin fails then the mountain continues to belong to Smaug. Once Smaug is killed,however, the mountain is basically up for grabs. Orcs want to gain control because of the mountain's strategic location? Shrug.
  8. The violence is tame. Each time an important character is killed, the camera moves to his/her face. There is one scene where I actually thought the Orc didn't kill the character.
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